January 29, 2005 9:56 AM
Montessori at Home #1
No mother has to experience the Terrible Twos. All it takes is understanding and practicing a few Montessori principles to help your child sail gracefully through what can really be a thoroughly delightful and productive stage.
My Montessori training took nine months of 9-5. I've written a book called The Mommy Manual -- due out in May -- which covers the basics for mommies. But if you're living with a toddler or two, you need help now -- in small, reader-friendly pieces. I'm here to give you some fresh ideas. If you choose to try a few, please let me know the results.
The most important thing I learned as a Montessori teacher was to see the world through a child's eyes. I know that this revolutionized my motherhood. See, we're just too far removed from our own childhoods to remember how it was. We might remember specific events or even flashes of feeling -- but we just don't remember the helplessness and disconectedness that children experience because they are living in an environment built for people several times their size.
There's a Big Chair at a produce stand just "over the mountain" (a little Loudoun lingo for driving over the Blue Ridge into the neighboring county) from me. I'd guess it's about ten feet high. For those who've missed it -- and all the mystery surrounding why anyone would be inspired to build it -- take a look at these Big Chairs. Now, imagine trying to climb up and sit at one, you feet dangling. Imagine trying to get down.
You may see where I'm going with this. When we see the world through children's eyes, we have a little more compassion for the daily challenges they face. Yes, we might have bought them a child-sized table and chair -- and I hope you have so they have a place that fits to color and do puzzles. It's one of the reasons kids love to go to preschool -- because everything there fits them. But we can provide the same sense of belonging at home by rethinking our living spaces and making them more child-friendly.
Back when Samantha was little, children's furniture was hard to come by. These days it's everywhere, thanks to the influence of Montessori. My advice is to create little nooks here and there around the house for your child. Don't put your child's table and chair in her bedroom where it will collect dust -- put it out where she will be part of family ife. Put a shelf next to it with puzzles and manipulatives (sewing cards, pegboards, small blocks, etc). Show her how to take a puzzle off the shelf, set it on the table and do it (encourage repetition -- then how to put it back before taking out something else.
In later posts, I'll be speaking of how this simple change in your child's experience will lead to independence (the good kind), concentration, a sense of order, and a love of learning. In the meantime, we'll just think of it here as creating a child-friendly environment.
The second most helpful thing you can do is to provide step-stools for your child in strategic places so he can develop a larger vision. If you can imagine being three feet tall and wandering through the kitchen, you'll see how very limited the environment is for kids (although I do hope you let them play with the tupperware and pots and pans in the lower cabinets -- c'mon, life's too short to worry about having the neatest kitchen in the world -- before you know it your kids will be grown and gone and are they gonna think you're a better mom because the kitchen was spotless?)
Standing on a stool in the kitchen gives your child the opportunity to see what you're doing. Not only is it good for companionship, but it will surely spark an interest in helping -- something you want to nurture. It is possible to teach a two year old to peel carrots, for example. I'll be showing you how in posts to come.
Put a peg rack at kids' level by the door so your child can get his own coat and hang it up when he comes in. Again, this isn't just child-friendly, but providing opportunities for independence.
Create a reading nook with a beanbag or cozy little chair next to a shelf of his own books (more later on encouraging reading).
Finally, I frame cards or small prints of classical paintings and hang them at kids' eye level throughout the house (another Montessori-inspired idea). By the reading nook, pictures like Fragonard's Girl Reading. By the coat rack, pictures of outdoor scenes like Renoir's Girl with a Watering Can. Scattered throughout the house, pictures like Homer's Snap the Whip and Van Gogh's Starry Night. Anything that you -- now looking through the eyes of a child -- find appealing. You can find these in greeting card racks, boxed note card sets, or a book of cards which is part of a total art program for kids -- Mommy, It's a Renoir!
Oh, and place a few mirrors here and there at their height so they can see themselves.
Lastly, rethink everything in your child's daily life. Make sure he has access to the things he needs -- that he can get out his own clothes, for instance -- wherever possible so that he doesn't have to be dependent on you. Remember, parenting is one job you should be working yourself out of -- to finally produce young men and women who can stand on their own two feet.
If you don't want to wait for future posts or The Mommy Manual for more ideas, you can order my book Small Beginnings; First Steps to Prepare Your Child for LifeLong Learning, which I wrote ten years ago and is now out of print from my my website or amazon.
But there will be plenty more here, interspersed with my thoughts on whatever grabs my attention each day. Enjoy yourself as you begin to implement whatever changes resonate with you. Let me know how it goes.
Posted in Homeschooling, Montessori, Mothering | Permalink
Comments
Thanks for the tips. I think I will move my daughter's pint-sized sofa from her room into the family room.
Posted by: Becki | January 29, 2005 10:03 AM
I am looking forward to reading more of your ideas, and eventually your book. I used to work in a lower elementary Montessori classroom and was even more fascinated by what I saw taking place in the primary rooms! Thank you so much.
Posted by: Jessica | January 29, 2005 11:11 AM
I am so thrilled to find these posts of yours on Montessori! We just got the book you mentioned of Maria Montessori's in the bookstore where I work part time, I hope to be able to get your book too!
Posted by: Adrienne | September 18, 2005 3:28 PM
As for the Giants, their own happiness was short-lived as they lost to - who else?
Posted by: bragiacobo | June 15, 2006 1:15 PM
Hi Barbara,
Thank you for your tips very much. My wife and I are expecting a baby and we are very interested in the Montessori Method. We have already read few books but we are still thinking if it is really possible with every child? They are babies more quiet and more lively. Anyway, we are preparing a room according to Montessori tips to help our baby become independent and beloved human being. We are going to put a mirror over his mattress and hang a mobile from ceiling at the beginning. We hope also to start with breastfeeding. We will be very busy to look at your site and find the practical tips to use. Thank you for your help.
Kind regards,
Rafal and Joanna
Posted by: Rafal | December 17, 2007 8:46 AM
