November 18, 2005 1:54 PM
Elisabeth Elliot on self-esteem
Every once in a while, I remind readers that you can receive Elisabeth Elliot daily in your inbox. She always has some great stuff to say. Like today:
Two Views
One morning I received an article from a Christian magazine, written by a consulting physician at a well-known Christian clinic, entitled "Learning to Love Yourself." Ironically, in the same mail came a news magazine with its cover story, "The Curse of Self-Esteem."
I said, "Well." (That's a byword from my sister-in-law's family. When they think it best not to say what they're really thinking, but need to say something, they've found this useful: I said, "Well.")
The doctor's suggestions for improving your self-esteem included these: Praise yourself. Speak up for yourself. Believe in yourself. Be proud of yourself. Express total, unconditional acceptance for where you are at this moment.
The news magazine said, "If you're like most Americans, chances are you are at risk for low self-esteem. Sure, you felt bad at your kids' school's Career Day when you were the only parent who didn't own his own company. But unless your family psychometrician had ministered a Coopersmith Self-Esteem Inventory or the Kaplan Self-Derogation Scale you probably never imagined that a negative self-image might be holding you back in life. You just thought you were no good.
"But now you know that there are no bad people, only people who think badly of themselves."
[click here to read the full text, which includes Old Testament stories as counter-examples]
I know of nothing more agitating to the soul, nothing that so unsettles and disquiets, as the contemplation of the self. If I succeed in improving my self-image by minimizing my faults, I may find the peace that the world can give, but I will end up in spiritual turmoil. The peace of the penitent spirit is "very low in its own eyes, and therefore not unsettled" (Janet Erskine Stuart).
Those who follow the Lamb leave self behind, and "put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" (Ephesians 4:24, NIV).
This is what I meant the other day when I was discussing how important children's work is to their self-esteem. Self-esteem can't come from a television character telling you you are special. It must come from the inside - knowing that there is a purpose for your life and that you are truly a contributing member to society, which in the case of a child means to the family.
As an adult, true self-esteem comes from being grounded in God's purpose for your life and doing your best to fulfill it. This is key to mothers feeling confident in their own calling: with no encouragement or affirmation from the world, we must learn to remind ourselves that in dying to our own selfishness and putting others first for this season in our lives, we are doing something truly meaningful and with eternal purpose. Then we can be confident -and I believe we can pass that confidence on to our children.
Anyway, I'd like to encourage you to include Elisabet Elliot in your morning reading. She gives you a lot to think about during the day. Subscribe to her daily devotions here.
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