December 31, 2005 4:23 PM
Hold the mayo? Not if you're pro-life!
At Things We Said Today – thanks for the reminder of a Beatles song I’d forgotten was one of my favorites! – Marie also recently remembered something I’d have blogged on in a heartbeat had I had my own little space back in the summer of 2004.
On July 18, The New York Times published a piece called “One is Enough” – the sad saga of thirty-something living-with-her-boyfriend freelance writer named Amy Richards, whose dreams were dashed to smithereens by the news that the baby snuggling inside her womb was actually just one of three.
My immediate response was, I cannot have triplets. I was not married; I lived in a five-story walk up in the East Village; I worked freelance; and I would have to go on bedrest in March. I lecture at colleges, and my biggest months are March and April. I would have to give up my main income for the rest of the year. There was a part of me that was sure I could work around that. But it was a matter of, Do I want to?Guess not.
Instead Ms. Richards seized the solution any self-centered person might when faced with such an inconvenience: selective reduction – that is, the killing of two of her triplets and allowing only one to live. As Ms. Richards fretted publicly, had she actually allowed all three hearts to continue beating, she would have to go on bed rest at 20 weeks, be unable to fly after 15, and worse: She would "have to move to Staten Island," and be doomed to a life of "shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise."
Monika noted that she is one of those women who shops at Costco and buys big jars of mayonnaise. And hey, you know what? So am I!
And I just had this terrific idea that we should have a special club – The Big Jar Mayonnaise Mamas. I mean, every other group in this culturally diverse nation has a banner to keep them Loud and Proud. Even Dykes on Bikes recently trademarked their name. How about if we – the Big Jar Mayonnaise Mamas – join them in forcing our way into civic parades too - waving high our big jars of mayonnaise and tossing recipes for things like potato salad and devilled eggs out to the crowd.
I know it’s less than a month until Sanctity of Life Sunday, but I say, let’s move full steam ahead to make this a national campaign. Full page ads in the New York Times and other papers of record – a big jar of mayonnaise will say it all.
Or how about two side-by-side pictures: one a slim young preppy mom pushing a baby stroller holding her decent-sized family of one walking out of Trader Vic’s with a small, decent size jar of mayonnaise; counterpoised, a frazzled and frumpy mom straggling out of Costco with six kids and a huge jar of mayonnaise.
Beneath, the blurb:
Choice means more than a child.
It means a lifestyle free of large-volume shopping, and crowded refrigerators where inevitably some piece of food is going bad behind the large jar of mayonnaise.
Choice! Could you wish anything less for the women in your life?
Choice – it’s about convenience. It’s about sophistication. It’s about you!
Or how 'bout if we all line up at the front doors of our local Costcos on Sanctity of Life Sunday January 23 and march in for our big jars of mayonnaise, stack them as a backdrop and hold a press conference to raise public awareness of just what it means to be a Big Jar Mayonnaise Mama.
Oh, but back to Ms. Richards and her sad tale of woe. The onslaught of letters from readers shocked by her self-absorption and weakness of character- not to mention her murdering of two babies to keep her life uncluttered - was answered in short order by an equally aggressive onslaught from those who found much to admire in her choice and her candor.
But the interesting thing, which never got any media attention – and which I just uncovered today while researching links – was the following obscure clarification on July 28, 2004:
The Lives column in The Times Magazine on July 18 gave a first-person account of the experience of Amy Richards, who had been pregnant with triplets and decided to abort two of the fetuses [not babies, but fetuses – it’s only a baby when the mother wants it]. Ms. Richards, who told her story to a freelance Times Magazine contributor, Amy Barrett, discussed her anxiety about having triplets, the procedure to terminate two of the pregnancies and the healthy baby she eventually delivered; she expressed no regret about her decision.The column identified Ms. Richards as a freelancer at the time of her pregnancy but should have also disclosed that she is an abortion rights advocate who has worked with Planned Parenthood, as well as a co-founder of a feminist organization, the Third Wave Foundation, which has financed abortions. [my emphasis] That background, which would have shed light on her mind-set, was incorporated in an early draft, but it was omitted when an editor condensed the article.
Why am I not surprised?
Posted in Pro-Life Issues | Permalink
Comments
I proclaim myself a proud Big Jar Mayonaise Mama! I love going to our local Sam's warehouse and walking in parade formation with my troops behind me! I love the people who gape at us and smile and the always at least one person who comments, "WOW! You really do need to shop here!" I will joyfully shop at Sam's for my children, my grandchildren, and maybe even my great grandchildren! I will teach my children to proudly walk through the warehouse store with two maybe three buggies and heads held high! And we will always put a big jar of mayonaise in our cart in memory of all the babies not born because thier momma's could not stand the thought of shopping for a big jar of mayonaise!
Julie
Posted by: Julie | January 1, 2006 11:56 AM
Consider this my registration form for the LGM (Large Jar of Mayonnaise) club!
I've heard good personal stories about Dr. Dobson, too. He is no phony. Thank God for him.
Posted by: Monika | January 1, 2006 1:25 PM
I'm a Big Jar Mayonnaise Mama too. In fact I just made myself a sandwich with our big jar of Costco mayo (almost empty) and am expecting our 6th child in about a week.
Maggie
Posted by: Maggie | January 1, 2006 8:49 PM
Rush Limbaugh mentioned just after the article was published that the woman who killed two of her three children was actually an abortion activist.
I live in a walk up and am the healthy for having children to increase the intensity of my stair stepping.
Thank the Lord that you have the drive and the location to stand in the gap for our country's soul and future. Christ's blessings on you!
Posted by: Cheri | January 2, 2006 6:35 AM
My babies are only 2 and 9mths, but count me in. I can't wait until I need to buy a big Jar of mayo for my troops. I really belive in letting the Lord determine the size of my family. My hubby is not quite sure ... I just keep praying he will open his heart for more.
Posted by: angela H. | January 2, 2006 11:22 AM
SO cute lol...Big Jar of Mayonaise Club! I only have my two so far, but please! oh please! oh please?.....
*jumps up and down with a raised hand*... can I join anyway?!!!
~kristy
Posted by: Kristy | January 2, 2006 11:43 AM
As a proud mom to 3-year old triplets, who never ONCE considered aborting any of them, who never regretted a moment of what was a difficult, nightmarish pregnancy complete with bedrest starting at week 9, I am rolling with laughter at your Big Jar of Mayonnaise Brigade concept!!! Ever since that article came out last summer (and trust me, it was BIG NEWS in the world of triplet parents!!!) I have wished I used more mayonnaise in our cooking. Every single time I put mayonnaise on our shopping list I think of that pitiful woman, every time. My beautiful, precious children are so much more worthy of life than any blow to my ego I might suffer due to what I might or might not have to put in my shopping cart.
Aren't you supposed to get rid of your shame about what goes into your shopping cart when you finally "get over" buying tampons? I mean, really, who cares what anyone thinks about what goes into your shopping cart??? What a very sad, narrow, externally-driven self-identity that denotes.
If you are serious about some kind of BJOM thing, let me know & I'll alert my triplet mom friends. I bet some would be thrilled to lend their support!!! We were all extremely hurt by that article last summer, and we all felt totally sick to our stomachs that someone would consider our lives so wretched & pathetic that murdering one's own children would be preferrable.
Posted by: Tulip | January 3, 2006 10:22 PM
I have four so I would join except none of my family (except me) will touch mayonaise. I do try to remember to pray for the single survivor. How will that one feel about this when he/she is older? I remember dreaming that I had a twin when I was a little girl, how awful to find out you had two and your mom killed them.
Posted by: JaneD | January 3, 2006 11:57 PM
Those of us who would love more children, but can't, can save our CareNet dollars in a BJOM!
Posted by: floorplan | January 6, 2006 9:28 AM
When Hillary Clinton explained why she didn't do the stay home mom thing, she said it was because she didn't want to stay home and bake cookies. I baked cookies every day for a month as my personal pride in being a stay home mom.
Kristen Patterson
Posted by: Kristen | January 7, 2006 8:59 AM
Great idea. I have sent this post out to some friends who are big mayo mamas in the making!
Blessings!
Posted by: Nate | January 9, 2006 11:34 PM
I'm a member of the club, even though no one in the family likes mayo.
Except for me, and I'm trying to lose weight, not gain it.
Posted by: carmen | January 11, 2006 9:17 AM
I finally read this post...unfortunately, I simply cannot stand mayo and my stomach couldn't handle having a large jar of it in my cart at Costco.
The article about the "selective abortion" of triplets saddened me on so many levels. Years ago, our pastor's wife was having difficuly conceiving a second child due to some physical issues. Then, to her great delight, she became pregnant. Their young son announced the pregnancy at a church gathering in our home, and there was celebration and happy tears all around. (This was a small church of large families.)
Then things got really exciting. She was told she was carrying identical twins. (Note: no fertility drugs had been used.) Not long after that, the doctor determined that she was carrying identical triplets. The parents and everyone at church felt this was such an overwhelming blessing. Many of us had already ministered to a family with triplets, and we were eager to pitch in wherever needed.
Tragically, she lost all three babies. Our jubilation turned to grief.
It is so hard to comprehend why three babies who were already so loved and eagerly anticipated would be snatched from life --- and someone else would choose to murder and discard two of their three babies.
By the way, after the passage of more time, our pastor's wife gave birth to a beautiful son. They named him Samuel.
Posted by: Rebecca | January 11, 2006 10:50 AM
Barbara -
Rebecca just linked to this post of yours from her blog and I wanted to add this to the comments on the subject. It's a post I wrote at Grace Notes, a Christian group edifying blog, that I think you'll find very interesting.
It's titled "An Uncommon Love Found in 'This Hallowed Ground'" that is a very unusual story.
Let me know what you think. Please.
Dee Andrews
Posted by: Dee Andrews | January 11, 2006 11:51 AM
I thought it was a given most of us were in the club. My amazing husband and three wonderful boys will happily have me join the club.
Posted by: Janet | January 11, 2006 2:45 PM
At our house it's gallons of dill pickles (six kids, two parents, five mayonnaise haters), but sign us up!
Posted by: Salome Ellen | January 11, 2006 7:03 PM
I am proud to call myself a big jar mayo momma! While we have 4 at the moment and regretfully cannot have any more biologically, we are most definitely adopting more! We shop at Sam's for everything you can get in bulk, from mayo to diapers and wipes!
Posted by: melanie | January 13, 2006 11:18 PM
Amen to big jars of mayo from this house of big feet, large appetite, testosterone producing, mayo eaters! I would humbly and happily proclaim to be in that VERY crowd myself. Thanks for the GREAT post!
Posted by: Trina | September 18, 2007 1:53 PM
