September 28, 2006 12:10 PM
Teaching kids about disabilities
A reader writes:
My daughter is 4 1/2. There is a girl at our church who has Down syndrome. My daughter came home from church one day and complained about M___ [not even real initial] not being nice and taking a toy out of her hand. I told her that M___ was nice, but she just didn’t understand, just like her brother David didn’t understand some things yet. (David is 18 months old.) I told her that M___’s brain wasn’t growing as fast as most peoples, and she only knew about as much as David, and that when M___ was older, she would learn about sharing.E___[the daughter - not real initial] asked why and I told her God made M___ special. E___ replied, “But Mommy, God makes everyone special.” (Good answer!) I replied, “You’re right, God does make everyone special. God just made M____ a little bit differently, I don’t know why.” I also told her that God must have a reason, but I don’t know what it is.
Do you have any advice about what else I can tell my daughter about M___? She really seems to want to know why God made M___ that way, and keeps asking why. I don’t know what else to tell her. I'm sure you have at least 4 reasons why!
I think you've done a great job. And you're asking the right questions. The important thing to keep in mind is that sometimes we don't just wrap up a subject the first or even the second time we talk about it with our kids. Different kids (like different adults) need various amounts of time to absorb new ideas. But you're having a conversation! And God has placed M___ in your daughter's life to teach her something - as well as to teach you more about mothering.
Which is actually why I think differently-abled kids have a definite purpose and are best placed smack dab in the middle of life :)
Anyway, I have some great books that might be of help and I spent the morning researching their availability because I've had mine for a long time.
This book is currently out of print. Why, I do not know, because it is a real gem. Let's hope someone will republish it soon. This is the best book I've seen for teaching little kids in a straightforward manner (as opposed to the more indirect - but still effective - story format) about disabilities. The illustrations are very 90's, but still cheerful and the language and subject matter is very child-friendly, simple and true. Includes the manual alphabet (sign language) and even a page of actual Braille type so kids can feel what it's like. There are usually used copies at Amazon, so check them out.
There are used copies available at Amazon - some for under a dollar. I'd suggest everyone snapping one up for their kids and if they're school, send it in to share with their classes.
A sweet book illustrated with photographs of a girl and her daddy going through daily activities while looking all day for a lost stuffed chimp. That the heroine has Down syndrome has nothing at all to do with the story, but it's a great subtle way to introduce your child to the "normalness" of kids with Down syndrome - that they are more alike than different from you and me.
Another photo-illustrated book told from the point of view of a young boy with Down syndrome, who is born, loved by his parents, plays with his brother, goes to the beach and the doctor - just like everyone else. Then he shares his secret - that he has Down syndrome. What that means in terms of his abilities and goals is put into sweet, child-friendly words. Very helpful for making kids feel comfortable with differently-abled peers.
Click on the book images to find them at amazon and read more reviews. Also don't forget to check used copies to save money. Or check your local library.
(That's my son Daniel, btw, who is 10 and has Down syndrome and a few autistic-type behavior patterns - and who hates hair cuts so is growing out his hair).
Posted in Disabilities | Permalink
Comments
SOOOOOOOO glad that you posted these titles. I am going to buy them and donate them to my daughter's classroom. Her teacher was just asking for book donations!
Suzanne
proud mom of three AWESOME different kids!
Posted by: Suzanne | September 28, 2006 1:12 PM
Barbara,
thank you for this post---as a mom to a differently abled kiddo, I know how hard it is to educate other children about her disability. We want her to have friends...friends who love her and accept her for who she is, not just friends because they feel sorry for her.
Posted by: Lindsey | September 28, 2006 1:23 PM
I just ordered all of the titles you recommended, Barbara! Thanks thanks thanks -- Tara Barthel
Posted by: Tara Barthel | September 28, 2006 5:23 PM
Your son is adorable!
I promise this is meant in a totally not creepy way.... but I had this overwhelming urge to muss up his hair and kiss him on top of the head. (that's what I do to all my nephews)
I'm sure that at 10, he would not appreciate that at all so if you want to do that for me, go ahead!
Posted by: whimsy | September 29, 2006 7:44 AM
Thanks for listing these.
I have one (only ONE!) down syndrome child, a girl 18, and a boy 14 with ADHD and I am losing my mind! I can not fathom how you keep it together at your house. On a good day we are barely functional here!
My older children were a great help but they have moved on and are living there own lives now so, Hubby and a I are on our own now.
He works in the evening, so it is just me and them much of the time.
I would love if you could share anything that might help me to cope.
Otherwise, I am thinking about cleaning out the checking account and going to Hawaii. :)
Posted by: Pam LaRose | October 4, 2006 11:44 AM
My name is Kimberly Williams and I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. I am writing because we spend a lot of time on public transportation and lately they are seeing disabled people with missing limbs in wheel chairs. I want to be able to explain to them what they are seeing but I am not sure to how. I don't want them to be afraid or anything like that. How do I teach them with compassion?
Posted by: Kimberly Williams | November 14, 2007 4:52 PM
