April 26, 2007 2:27 PM
Advice for older moms?
From my Inbox:
I had an oops baby at 45. Had 4 others at the normal age than when my youngest was 17 1/2 I had my 5th. Didn't show until 7 months and didn't know I was pregnant until 7 months. My daughter found out she was pregnant with her first the same time I found out about this one. (I have 4 boys and only 1 girl) They are 6 months apart. I and am looking for any advice on "normal" people having babies at 45 years old. Please help!!!!!!!
I hope you read my birthday greeting to my last birth child, Maddy. I gave birth to her when I was weeks away from my 45th birthday. She is the absolute joy of my life.
My oldest daughter Samantha was pragnant with her first when I gave birth to my #8, Jonny - as well as when I announced my pregnancy with Madeleine. The aunts and uncles and nephews and niece play together all the time - it's a wonderful, rich life for them.
Trust in God's plan for your family. Or as my teens always say, 'It's all good."
I find that exhaustion is my biggest enemy, but it's a good kind of tired and I've learned to live with it. The joy and satisfaction of watching each child's potential be revealed makes it worth it!
I know there are some readers here who have some encouragement and practical help to offer too!
Posted in Mothering | Permalink
Comments
Ditto everything Barbara said! I had my last child, a boy, when I was 42. He is just three years older than my eldest grandchild and the two are great buddies and wonderful playmates! I am not as apt to go out and play sports and stuff as I was with my older kids, but I am more likely to spend more time reading aloud to him, which is even better! I love being an "older" mom. I don't even mind when folks assume that I'm his grandma. I love claiming him as my own!!
Posted by: Cheryl (Copper's Wife) | April 26, 2007 3:51 PM
I am not an older mom and I don't doubt that you are going to be in for some struggles....but I always liked the idea of having a late in life baby when other children were older. I thought having a baby around would help the older kids learn valuable parenting skills as well as get the hugs and affection they need (and are too shy to ask for) from a source other than the opposite sex.
Posted by: paigeu | April 26, 2007 5:57 PM
I am a young mom right now, but I do hope to still be having babies when I'm in my 40s! My encouragment to you is to not think of or refer to this child as an "oops baby." God did not create that precious life by accident! It would be a sad thing for your youngest to think he was a "mistake" - God has a plan for his life, including the plan for his conception.
Posted by: Becky Miller | April 26, 2007 10:20 PM
Oh, please don't call this one an "oops" baby! What a blessing! I'm so excited for you! I'm not your age - but not that far behind. I'm 38 with seven children. But my advice for being an older mom? ENJOY it! :) Look how much wiser you are, how you will be able to focus on this one! Look how loved this child will be! You will be so much more relaxed this time around!
Posted by: Holly | April 26, 2007 10:45 PM
I had my Madeleine at 45, too, Barbara. I just became a grandmother and she, an aunt. God provides. And, what joy he provides "older" parents!
Posted by: bonnie | April 27, 2007 9:13 AM
My only hesitation is the request your reader had of hearing from "normal" people! I had my 5th one month before my 46th birthday. What you will need: a sense of humor, trust in God, letting go of your plans. What you will get: a heart that enlarges, a sense of wonder, the joy of seeing your older kids with the baby, and knowing that you are on a big adventure called LIFE. Embrace it! In the words of Auntie Mame: "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death". It's a beautiful thing, and this child will keep you young at heart. Trust God!
Posted by: Betty | April 27, 2007 9:38 AM
What a wonderful blessing those "cabooses" are! That's what we call our two youngest....Jonathan (#8) born when I was five weeks shy of my 39th birthday and then Kimberly (#9) arrived five weeks shy of my 43rd birthday! They weren't planned by us, but definitely planned by God. I cannot imagine my life without them.
My oldest is almost 26 and just had her first little guy four weeks ago. Kim and I had the privilege of staying with them for two weeks to help out while my husband very kindly and willingly watched over the other five still at home. It is so neat to watch Jon and Kim with our grandson! They are going to no doubt be pals. I just can't help thinking how wonderfully blessed you are to have a baby and grandchild just six months apart!
Oh, by the way, I think I'm totally "normal!" :)
Posted by: Pat | April 27, 2007 12:14 PM
I am not an older mother, yet. However, I had my first two children very close to my mothers last two. The first set are ten months apart and the second are two months apart. We love it and the kids are the best of friends. They are ten and twelve now and I am sure they will be close through out their whole lives. We feel so blessed, don't look at it as a negative. My mother can relate with me so much more than if she had not had small kids around for a long time. When we are asked in public if the kids are twins and we explain to them the relation, they will many times tell us how it has happened that way in their family. So, I was shy about it at first, but you too may be amazed at how common it really is!
Posted by: Carolyn | April 27, 2007 6:51 PM
We have 10 children, just 6 children over what we thought was a nice sized family! #5 came when I was 35, #6 came at age #36, #7 at 38, #8 at four days past my 40th birthday, #9 at age 41 and #10 at age 43! The best part about having younger chldren and older ones is how much the older ones love the younger ones. They are SO LOVED! The older ones are less selfish because we need their help with the little ones. My husband and I must really trust God for everything and this is what real faith is all about anyway. I would have never imagined that God would have had 10 children in mind for us. Our youngest has Down Syndrome and he is the crown jewel of the 10! Just open your heart to all the love God is blessing you with. Our job is to try to love as God loves, it really doesn't have to be any harder than that!
Posted by: Julie | April 29, 2007 1:39 PM
