May 14, 2007 6:17 AM
Guest blog: A mother's reflections on her daughter with Down syndrome
This is from my dear friend Gloria in California, who asked me to publish it here. Our family was very privileged to spend many glorious hours together with the Glorias:
May 10, 2007
Dear Friends,
Gloria Jr. is my third and youngest daughter. Born May 5th, 1982, 25 years ago. The birth was complicated by a c-section. I had no idea she was going to be a Down syndrome child, as at twenty six years old I was too young to ever have that happen.....So they say. I awoke from surgery to find Tony (her dad) crying above my hospital bed. I ask him what was wrong and his replied was "The doctor will be coming in to talk with you" and walked out the door. At first I thought he was upset that she was a girl, as we already had 2 daughters and he might have really wanted a son. We knew this would be our last child.
When the doctor finally came to talk with me, he ask me "Do you know what Mongolism is?". I answered "Yes" and then asked him, "Isn't that called Down syndrome?"
Well he gave me all the details and then finished up with one other question for me. This one was before I even got to see her. "Do you want her? If not we will put her in a place where she can be taken care of". WHAT A QUESTION!!!!
I would not have wanted anything else in my life at that moment. I knew that, right then and there, the second I saw her, it was instant.........LOVE!!
What the doctor told me she would not be able to do.......SHE DID!!.
I wanted to breast feed her even thought he told me she would have poor muscle tone in her mouth to eat right. Well let me tell you she proved them wrong.!!!
I don't know where to start with all the things she has accomplished in her young life. Yes, her reading and writing won't be par with her peers, but she still tries very hard at this. She has grown up to be a very gifted child. I found her strengths and have made the most of them: her love of dance, friends, family.
There are a lot of things that have happened in her life that have been hard for me to understand. Like why at 16 years old, while home alone from school due to menstrual cramps, she decides to call 911, they sent an ambulance to the house, they pick her up, and, she then gets a ride to the hospital in Petaluma...all by herself!!!!!
Or why she goes completely numb when I am trying to correct her (like most teenagers). Or just when everything seems to be going well and she is learning more and more to not lean on me so, she does something that sets her back. At times like these I feel that we need to start all over again.
And then we move on..........it's O.K.
But for all the not-so-good times, there are so much, much more wonderful, special and even emotional times in our lives together. She has such a trust in everyone that comes in her circle of life. Her love of people outshines everything she can't do. She has no problem walking up to a man or woman and letting them know how handsome or beautiful they are.
We were at a Mexican restaurant one evening, and as we were eating and listening to a live Mariachi band, 4 young men came and sat down at the table next to us. Well, lo and behold she starts up a conversation with one of them and then the others join in. As the band starts to play again, Gloria goes and request a dance from one of these guys, (who by the way was about my age!!) and you know what....he did!!!! There she was in all her glory, as everyone else looked on, dancing and having fun!!!!. I would have never, ever have done that!!!! But that's what makes her so special. We had a wonderful time that night.
Stuff like this happens all the time, when we are together.
I have come to admire Gloria Jr. for who she is and not what I want her to become. She has taught me not to judge others by their appearance. She has shown me to be kinder to all I meet. She has given me a big lesson on forgiveness. And she has shown me to be happy everyday.
For me I see Gloria Jr. as wearing her "spiritual soul" on the outside for all to see and you know what? I want to be just like her.
"Thank you Lord for giving me your gift of Love"
My Daughter Gloria Patricia Jr.
Posted in Disabilities, Down syndrome | Permalink
Comments
Okay, my kids are asking why I'm crying.
These are the best stories and I'm so thankful that you've published them.
Posted by: Barb | May 14, 2007 6:37 AM
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story!
Posted by: amelia | May 14, 2007 9:17 AM
I love that!
Posted by: Jennifer | May 14, 2007 4:15 PM
This is just beautiful. Our child birthing days are over, but my husband and I talk about adoption from time to time. I'd love to adopt a downs baby. My husband became self-employed about 18 months ago and we are still without insurance. The insurance issue is our biggest obstacle. God's will be done.
Anyway, thank you for sharing this...just precious!
Posted by: Kathy, Jeff's Wife | May 15, 2007 11:12 PM
