May 15, 2007 9:11 AM
Lisa Miller/ Janet Jenkins custody battle - can a child have two mothers?
A month ago, I carried a prayer request from Lisa Miller, an ex-lesbian whose custody of her biological daughter is being challenged by her ex-partner Janet Jenkins. Though both are native Virginians, they were joined under Vermont's civil union law and lived in Vermont for 13 months before Lisa returned to Virginia and became a Christian.
Since then, I've spent some time with Lisa and her daughter. The following article - in the May 12 edition of World magazine - is the result of that time and my research into the case:
Are you my mother?
Family: One little girl, two mothers, three multi-state litigations, and four years add up to a custody battle that only the Supreme Court may be able to resolve / by Barbara Curtis
It's not that the Jenkins-Miller case is that unusual: Parents split, one leaves the state with the child, things escalate and the left-behind parent sues for custody. Variations on the theme play out daily across the country, leaving family courts and judges to sort out "he-said, she-said" conflicts beneath which the future of innocent children is buried.
But what happens when the conflict takes a new twist? As in "she-said, she-said"? Or "Vermont says, Virginia says"? Can parentage be drawn at the state line? That's one question driving the litigation between Lisa Miller and Janet Jenkins.
Read entire article here.
Currently, the Virginia Supreme Court and the U. S. Supreme Court have denied requests to hear this case, leaving the outcome in the hands of Vermont's Family Court. Isabella's fate lies in the hands of Judge Cohen, who the Jenkins legal team feels confident will award Jenkins custody based on the Parental Kidnapping Protection Act (PKPA) and Jenkins' filing that Lisa's religion interferes with the non-biological mother's relationship with her daughter.
From the gay/lesbian point of view, a father in the same position would be awarded custody even though he had no biological connection to the child. The confusion comes from the clash between four states that recognize civil unions and the forty-six that don't. The Jenkins legal team accuses Lisa of "jurisdiction shopping," which is forbidden under the PKPA.
The larger issues hover over very real people, however - and Lisa is facing having her daughter taken away from her to be raised by two other mothers (Jenkins is now partnered with another woman) with no biological connection and no relationship at all for the past two years.
Lisa has started a blog OnlyOneMommy where you can keep current with what is going on in her case. Please spread the word about this case - which is very significant in terms of larger issues. And keep Lisa and Isabella - as well as Janet and her current partner - in your prayers.
Disclaimer:Because I write about issues dealing with traditional marriage and the family, I deal with a lot of hatred and charges that I "hate gays." That is absolute nonsense, and really says more about the puerile level of thinking of my accusers.
I am not approaching these issues from a holier-than-thou point of view, but from a wealth of experience and the kind of knowledge only gained by life in the trenches. I was a fatherless girl from a pretty bleak background including foster homes and sexual abuse. I've been through drug addiction and confusion about my own sexual identity. I lived in the Castro District of San Francisco with gay male roommates. I've seen the lifestyle up close and personal.
I truly believe that children need a mother and a father to have the best possible launch into the world. I also believe they need a spiritual foundation - and that's speaking as someone who grew up and began raising children without one (my first two daughters - Samantha Sunshine and Jasmine Moondance - were dragged through my own confusion for many years). Now, with 24 years experience raising 12 children with a dad and a spiritual foundation - plus observing my two daughters' wholesome marriages and families (five kids each) - I can see the enormous benefit of being raised with a dad and with a relationship with God.
Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity - including who don't subscribe to civil unions/gay marriage. While I don't agree with the gay lifestyle, I love and respect many individuals I know who are gay (and I do know quite a few because of our family's involvement in music and theater, which seem to attract a mix of Christians and gays). For gays who think this is not possible, consider: I don't agree with divorce or sex outside of marriage or substance abuse or cutting, but that doesn't mean I hate people who engage in those behaviors.
I have the right to believe these things without being subjected to the very hatred and scorn that gays are all too quick to accuse others of.
Please consider these things before posting any spiteful comments. And don't waste a lot of time on them, because over the years of political writing and enduring these assaults, I've developed a pretty thick skin and a pretty quick finger on the delete key.
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Comments
I will keep these folks in my prayers. I know it may be a very difficult situation, legally. However, we serve the Awesome, Eternal, All Powerful, All Knowing, Holy, Merciful and Almighty God - nothing is too difficult for Him! May He be glorified in this situation. Praise God for Lisa's turning to Him.
Libby Guidry
New Orleans
Posted by: Libby | May 15, 2007 11:40 AM
Thanks for the update Barbara on the case. I was wondering about the latest outcome a few days ago. I will pray for all involved, there is bound to be some hurt and loss no matter what the outcome.
Posted by: Imajackson | May 15, 2007 1:00 PM
continuing to pray. this breaks my heart and I can't imagine being in Lisa's shoes.
Posted by: millicent | May 15, 2007 3:07 PM
REALLY good writing in the opening of your World story! "he said, she said"..."she-said, she-said." Great stuff!
Posted by: Becky Miller | May 16, 2007 12:38 AM
Hi Barbara,
Thanks for keeping us up to date. I'm at work and can't read the entire piece, but will when I have free time. A comment and questions. If you understand the comment, you may avoid future criticism from the GLBT community. The statement:
"I've seen the lifestyle up close and personal."
is too sweeping. The lifestyle you experienced doesn't represent the varieties of lifestyles that GLBT people experience. Lifestyle correlates more closely with location, demographics and geography than with sexual orientation. I have a blog in the state of interminable final editing which I'll publish soon that deals with "conservative assimilationalists". Their lifestyle assimilates with the surrounding community. Since you work with GLBT people you've probably met many who assimilate. For the sake of staying on good terms, please acknowledge their lifestyle too. They certainly don't live the SF Castro district lifestyle in suburban Loudoun?
An now for the questions. You said:
"Lisa returned to Virginia and became a Christian."
What does it mean to be a Christian?
I've begun a spiritual journey and would like very much to "become a Christian". I'm starting with this, and excuse me if I misquote:
"And this is the testimony; God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his son. Whoever has the son, has life. Whoever does not have the son of God, does not have life."
So what does it mean to "have" the son?
And finally, can one be GLBT and Christian?
Posted by: Jonathan | May 16, 2007 12:58 PM
Jonathan -
Thanks for your comment. I answered it as an entry here.
Posted by: barbaracurtis | May 16, 2007 9:28 PM
