October 16, 2007 6:14 AM
Southern Women
This is for all my southern friends:
SOUTHERN WOMEN Southern women appreciate their natural assets: Clean skin. A winning smile. That unforgettable Southern drawl.Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
HumiditySouthern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crickSouthern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mintSouthern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
ShugahSouthern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The WindSouthern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
FootballSouthern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jellySouthern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
AddlannaSouthern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett ButlerSouthern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty SalonSouthern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
_____Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
_____To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could
Thanks to Beth, who sent this to me. I live on the edge of the south - in northern Virginia - where the good manners and graciousness of the south makes life much more pleasant. A far cry from California! Here, we teach our children to call teachers if not by their last name, then by Miz Debbie or Miz Janet (and btw, a huge percentage of southern women seem to be named Debbie - or is it just me?)
I've written about the extreme courtesy of those who live - like I do - in the country where there are dirt roads (see here and here. Of course the influx of people who buy McMansions and commute without ever allowing themselves to be changed by the culture here means that we are now getting a fair share of people too in a hurry for the personal touch. But there are enough old-timers around - as well as those who've caught on to the charms of the lifestyle here - that life is still more gentle than it is to the north and the east.
Lots of eye contact and smiles whether you know someone or not - something I miss when I'm away from home.
Comments
Thanks for posting this, Barbara! I miss my Southern friends!! We lived in Nashville for 9 years, and most of what you posted I've heard before (especially (bless your heart!). One that didn't get mentioned: "You might could..." as in "You might could go swimming later today if it don't rain!"
Beth
Posted by: Beth Byler | October 16, 2007 8:16 AM
I was nodding my head at all those! And since I lived there for 4 years, Ah luuuv Foat Wuth!
Posted by: Smockity Frocks | October 16, 2007 9:21 AM
And you are going to be in my neck of the (Southern) woods next month (Nov. 13) How do I find you? Do I have to be a MOPS member to come?
~Leslie
Posted by: My Twenty Cents Keeps Moving | October 16, 2007 11:30 AM
We lived in Tennessee for almost 2 years and I love this post. By the time we moved back to Kansas I had startedusing the Miss Marcia, or Miss Helen, we love banana puddings now,yummy, and all y'all is heard umm some what often when I am talking to the 6 kiddos. My husband teases me as we were both born and raised in California. HAHAHAH I do miss the lovely and oh so colorful people in Tennessee.
Amy
Posted by: Amy | October 16, 2007 11:56 AM
Too cute! I actually have on a t-shirt today that says
"Diamonds are nice, and so are pearls. But there ain't nothin' like a Mississippi girl!"
I was home in MS a few weeks ago and while visiting my new nephew at the hospital I kept wondering why people were saying hi and making small talk to me in passing...then I remembered I was in the south where to you talk to someone even if you don't know them!
Being in MD now I miss the manners and friendliness...
Posted by: millicent | October 16, 2007 12:59 PM
Ah, yes! My parents were raised, partly, in the south; and though I'm a left coaster, born and raised, a lot of my folks' terms have stuck around through me. I do so envy that common courtesy thing....My Aunt used to ride down the road (she never learned to drive, she was always a passenger) and she'd wave at oncoming cars and say " H'lo boys, don't know who ya are." over and over as we drove along. It still makes me smile.
Posted by: Cheryl (Copper's Wife) | October 16, 2007 1:50 PM
Shugah, that is the funniest post and yet so true.
Y'all come back now, ya h'ar!
(lol sorry this Southern gal just couldn't resist)
Posted by: Laura @ Laura Williams' Musings | October 16, 2007 6:09 PM
Well, I know y'all include Fort Worth in there, but I always say Texas ain't quite the South. It's Texas, which is just something a little bit different (and a little bit better, if I do say so m'self). I did know most of these Southernisms, o'course.
You know, it wasn't too long ago I learned there's a difference between "sweet tea" and sweetened tea. Sweetened tea is what you get when you go to a restaurant that doesn't have sweet tea and all they can bring you is some iced tea and sugar. I don't know why anybody'd do that on purpose, though.
Posted by: Michelle | October 16, 2007 9:43 PM
I have this book. It's so cute! If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend you go out right now and read it! You will be shaking your head in agreement through the whole book!
Posted by: Lynda | October 16, 2007 10:02 PM
I was born and raised in Southern California (that definitely doesn't count!). Now we live in the northern part of the state, where anyone at our church under the (approximate) age of 13 refers to my daughters as Miss __________, and anyone under the age of 25 refers to me as Mrs. ____________. It's a good thing! :-) I wish it was a common thing.
Posted by: Susan in Elk Grove CA | October 17, 2007 6:22 PM
I second Michelle on that Texas thing. My neighbor has a sticker on her car that says you are not a real Texan unless you were born here. I want to give her a piece of my mind as I was NOT born here but it is where I found myself, my happiness and grew in my faith. Texas is its own little country. I love it here!
Posted by: Christian Faith | October 18, 2007 9:35 AM
