May 31, 2008 2:56 PM
Alex Barton's classmates - 2 heroes
And by the way, wouldn't you be proud to be the parent of one of the two kids who voted for Alex to stay in the classroom?
If there's a lesson we can all take away from this, it's how we can work in whatever capacity we have - as parents, teachers, administrators, and communicators - to prevent other children being hurt in this way.
Administrators need to quit stalling, be more open-minded, and work harder to deliver a free and appropriate public education to each child in their district. Yes, we've all heard about money problems, but my observation is that we spend way too much on the salaries of administrators who work way too hard denying proper staffing.
Teachers need to come to terms with their legal obligation to include students. They may need to press themselves for proper support - I've seen teachers risk their jobs speaking up to stingy administrators on behalf of their children. I have yet to meet a general ed teacher who wasn't happy to have an extra support person in her class.
Parents need to set an example for their children of compassion and understanding. They need to talk to their children about what's going on in their classroom. They need to stop gossiping about kids with special needs and their parents and reach out.
Communicators need to keep this subject open and make sure that ideas reach the people they need to reach.
In today's world, children are often seen as commodities and products - especially where education is concerned. How do we cram them full of knowledge and save for their college education?
But there are other aspects of growing human eings that are so much more important. As I wrote in The Mommy Manual:
. . . it takes more than competence, intelligence, or education to produce the kind of man or woman I want each of my children to grow up to be.There’s a word that comes to mind here: mensch. It’s one of those Yiddish words – a Germanic language written in Hebrew and including many special Hebrew words, especially those that have to do with faith. It’s a challenge to translate, but because it means exactly what I’m talking about here, I’ll try.
The German language has the word mann for man. But mensch means so much more. One dictionary defines mensch as “a person having admirable characteristics, such as fortitude and firmness of purpose.” Mensch also signifies a perfect gentleman or a perfect lady, someone compassionate, caring, and kind.
So when I think about the kind of adults I want my children to grow up to be, I’m thinking menschen – men and women with good, strong, and gracious character. I want them to grow up to be faithful wives and husbands, loving parents, brave believers, good friends, and committed citizens.
Which is why I say, I would hope that in Morningside Elementary's Kiddie Tribunal my children would be the minority that resisted the teacher's obvious encouragement to try and convict a peer.
If anyone knows these families, please ask them to get in touch with me. I'd like to interview them.
Posted in Alex Barton, Inclusion, Public schools, Special education | Permalink
Comments
The sad thing is that for most young children, it takes so very little to encourage them in the way of inclusion in a structured setting. They are so open to it.
Case in point: my son's baseball team, Wednesday night. I don't have the time or emotional gumption to write out the whole story now...but if anything's going to finally nudge me into blogging, it may be the desire to tell this story fully, with all of its complex highs and lows!
Here's the short version: He has disabilities, yet he had a desire to try to play baseball. He is on a team of 11 - 12 year old boys. All but he and one other boy are black, inner city kids, many with some rough backgrounds. You wouldn't think that this is prime soil for inclusion, but the team is organized through an urban ministry here, and they emphasize creating a loving atmosphere. That and respect for teamates, coaches, other teams, umpires, and equipment are placed far above winning games in importance. They accept and support my son, and value him for the things he does bring to the team, without begrudging him the one or two outs he adds to the tally each game.
Seeing his differences, most opposing teams actually have given him high lobs for pitches. These are almost harder to hit than straight pitches, and he hadn't even come close to getting a hit yet this season. Until Wednesday. After hitting it,it took him a while to figure out that he needed to run, and he was easily out at first, bringing the team's inning to a close. By the time he even reached the base,though, he was mobbed. Every single player on his team had spontaneously run out onto the field in excitement to congratulate him! (Ok, this Mama's crying again...)
He was overwhelmed, embarrassed, and not sure how to interpret it all (talk about a "social cue"!) and there's more to the story, but the truth of what they were communicating was clear: pure, overwhelming, enthusiatic joy for their teamate's success! At today's game, one of the boys even brought him a cupcake in honor of his hit.
Again,these guys are 11-12, and some are pretty rough around the edges, coming from homes that are not at all likely to make a point to try to teach inclusion and compassion. But within the structure of this team, over just a couple of months, just look at what was wrought!
Could Alex's teacher have done this with the leadership she holds in her class of impressionable five year olds? Of course she could have! I wish she could have been at the game.
Off to dab my tears...
Posted by: Marian | May 31, 2008 10:46 PM
The sad thing is that for most young children, it takes so very little to encourage them in the way of inclusion in a structured setting. They are so open to it.
Case in point: my son's baseball team, Wednesday night. I don't have the time or emotional gumption to write out the whole story now in a way that does it justice... (but if anything's going to finally nudge me into blogging, it may be the desire to tell this story fully, with all of its complex highs and lows!)
Here's the short version: He has disabilities, yet he had a desire to try to play baseball. He is on a team of 11 - 12 year old boys. All but he and one other boy are black, inner city kids, many with some rough backgrounds. You wouldn't think that this is prime soil for inclusion, but the team is organized through an urban ministry here, and they emphasize creating a loving atmosphere. That and respect for teamates, coaches, other teams, umpires, and equipment are placed far above winning games in importance. They accept and support my son, and value him for the things he does bring to the team, without begrudging him the one or two outs he adds to the tally each game.
Seeing his differences, most opposing teams actually have given him high lobs for pitches. These are almost harder to hit than straight pitches, and he hadn't even come close to getting a hit yet this season. Until Wednesday. After hitting it,it took him a while to figure out that he needed to run, and he was easily out at first, bringing the team's inning to a close. By the time he even reached the base,though, he was mobbed. Every single player on his team had spontaneously run out onto the field in excitement to congratulate him! (Ok, this Mama's crying again...)
He was overwhelmed, embarrassed, and not sure how to interpret it all (talk about a "social cue"!) and there's more to the story, but the truth of what they were communicating was clear: pure, overwhelming, enthusiatic joy for their teamate's success! At today's game, one of the boys even brought him a cupcake in honor of his hit.
Again,these guys are 11-12, and some are pretty rough around the edges, coming from homes that are not at all likely to make a point to try to teach inclusion and compassion. But within the structure of this team, over just a couple of months, just look at what was wrought!
Could Alex's teacher have done this with the leadership she holds in her class of impressionable five year olds? Of course she could have! I wish she could have been at the game.
Off to dab my tears...
Posted by: Marian | May 31, 2008 10:47 PM
P.S.
I'm so very proud of those coaches and of those boys!
Posted by: Marian | May 31, 2008 10:58 PM
I loved Marian's story!
Posted by: Angela | June 1, 2008 10:46 PM
I loved Marian's story!
Posted by: Angela | June 1, 2008 10:46 PM
"Wouldn't you be proud..."
This reminds me of a CYO basketball game that my daughter's team played when she was about 12 or 13.
The other team had a girl who obviously had Down Syndrome, but who would be placed in the game to include her in the team activity.
One of my daughter's teammates, named Nicole, was assigned to guard this girl. Now this girl was uncoordinated and slow, but she was filled with an obvious joy to be playing the game.
While Nicole was "guarding" her, Nicole's hands never went above her shoulders. This girl got five or six clear shots, and even made one of them.
At that time Nicole's team was losing the game.
After the game was over (our team lost) I approached Nicole's dad and told him that he ought to be proud of the way his daughter played that day. I know I was.
Posted by: Tony | June 5, 2008 4:17 PM
